Mind wandering and observations of late

The other day my child did her normal habit (a habit we helped form and praised while forming) and instead of forgetting this habit she formed and that we helped her form, or even acknowledging that we didn't pay the closest attention to her and "lost" her...we scolded her for leaving our side. Now, this is one example from my family but this observation is a common practice among the average parents and society I've noticed in the four years of having my own child (and in looking back at being a child myself). From my understanding, it is an oxymoron (is that the right word for it?) act that stems from wanting our children to accumulate good habits or habits we and society find appropriate and valuable for being independent but also being protective and possibly paranoid that the people and society we want them to accumulate habits for and from are also dangerous. Also in which, generations of notions formed due to the multi-tasking that is adulthood/parenting (as they are "always supposed" to be minding both the child/children and the task at hand whether that be driving, shopping, and or socializing, etc.) that because they are multi-tasking, by default, the child's most important habit (and only true task), is paying attention to the adult that is caring for them...thus when they don't follow the adult they automatically become "lost" and scolded for it.

I've also started to process that mental toughness book I read this past Sunday (2 days ago). I've always thought I had some sort of formed mental toughness as I considered myself to have some grit, determination, and resilience/perseverance (I AM still here squawking and kicking after all). To be fair, the book mentions this as being a...small active ingredient to mental toughness. However, the main ingredient mentioned (over and over and over again) was having healthy habits, emotionally, mentally and physically,,, and most importantly independently. Now looking through a lens of my adulthood/life, mental health examination, and the past childhood actions, behaviors, and reflective feelings; I am and was slightly more co-dependant then independent. I think a helping factor in this forming was through realizing that every natural reaction or task I gave/performed...never (or rarely ever) produced a favorable/positive response...so the natural feeling of uncertainty acquired more ground than the confidence in my gut instinct and behaviors (or even the process/experience of learning and developing in life).  I've also realized that my perfectionism/not risk-taking and defensive/protective behaviors when being "confronted" (ie when I interpret the response given as...unfavorable vs encouraging, especially when I am "risk-taking") stem from this as well. 

Other things I found that don't match having mental toughness is that I am very much invested in all things (I have a hard time moving on and letting go) and on the same wavelength, I usually take every detail or statement as fact...especially if the opinion or statement is said or written from someone I consider more experience/knowledgeable than I am. 

I will leave you with 2 things I latched on to from some videos in my youtube feed: Obesetobeast states: "don't let perfection get in the way of good enough", now his channel is about fitness and the goods and bads, and from the glance, I took, his journey and his reactions to other peoples journeys so that is where he is coming from. However, I see it's wisdom for all things in life (at least my interpretation of the statement). I took it as being appreciative and kind to oneself and where one is at in the journey of that task/activity and not forgetting said accomplishment in trying to attain the unattainable perfectionism that one sees as mastery. #2 is from a Tedtalk by James Smith and he states to be your own scientist (his is also talking weightloss-specifically in women, however, I can see it for all things); so basically don't acquire my habit of taking other peoples word (or lack of word) as gospel and investigate and research it for yourself (this, by the way, is also part of developing and maintaining mental toughness). 



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